Almost walked right into a pile of shit. Grazed it even.
And it doesn't take long. Just the blink of an eye really.
A little time in front of the television that could have been spent talking.
Preoccupation with dinner preparation when I could be enjoying my children.
Checking e-mails instead of painting.
Or exercising.
Or laughing.
Missing a few meals... and a few other things that could feed my soul.
Not going for that walk.
Or reading.
Or writing.
Being angry.
Wasting time trying to be right.
Online shopping... I mean, come on.
Going, going, going when I need to just be.
And stopping when I need to keep going.
And it's just a week... and then a month... and then, suddenly, it's my life.
And I don't want to waste it. Time to wake up so I can be a part of my real dreams.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Friday, September 19, 2008
It's a hard knock life for Ethan Hawke
That's just complete speculation. I'm basing it almost entirely on the way the lines have been carved into his face. That, and I read his first novel. And I suspect he was much more like his "Reality Bites" character than he'd ever want to admit. But really it's that hardness in his face. If you watch "Before Sunset" and watch the flashbacks to scenes from "Before Sunrise", you'll see some of what I mean. Go back to "Dead Poet's Society" and it's even more apparent. Even "Mystery Date".
Yes, I saw that in the theater. No, I'm not a stalker.
It's just that face of his. He could do "awe" and "bewilderment" like no one else. All pale and purity and peaches and cream. That sweet face in "Dead Poet's Society".
I met him briefly, if you can call it meeting, at the Paul Simon concert in Central Park in 1991... I think. I told him that I liked him in "White Fang" because it was all I could think to say. He came over to say hello later on and hung out for a minute and massaged my shoulders until the end of a song (sad that I can't remember the song). I think he was hoping that I had beer and would offer him some. I didn't. Whatever. Didn't matter. A cute movie star gave me a back rub - I wasn't hung up on ulterior motives.
Years later we must have lived in the same neighborhood. Or maybe HE was the stalker, because I saw him everywhere when I lived in Chelsea. He always looked cool and tense and full of potential. And always handsome in a scrappy kind of way. But harder over the years. And then I'd see articles and interviews. Always intelligence and philosophy... and angst. And then the divorce. Divorce always sucks.
So I think he's had a hard time of things. Or at least he takes everything pretty seriously. All the wounds are deep. Everything leaves a scar. Thus the lines.
Don't get me wrong, he's still handsome. He evolved from wide-eyed and adorable to a kind of raw and sexy. But there's just something heartbreaking about it. I always wonder if he'd do it all over again.
It reminds me of something one of the Dominican nuns told me back in Catholic school. The way Sister Mary Joseph told it, Leonardo Da Vinci was looking for a model to be the infant Jesus in Adoration of the Magi and sought out the most pure, cherubic face he could find. Years later, when he began to pain The Last Supper, he was seeking an entirely different look for his model for Judas. But by coincidence, he ended up picking the very same model from years before. Sister Mary Joseph went on to explain that this man, who has once been the model for the baby Jesus, had not lived a very "clean" and "pure" life and grew up to look like a traitor. Now, I don't know if that story has any truth to it. This was the same nun who warned us that french kissing led to mortal sin and could ultimately land us in hell... the nun who started me wondering just how many people could possibly end up getting into heaven anyway if that was the case... and did I really want to spend forever and ever and EVER with THEM?!
Anyway, it just reminds me of Ethan. Either way, I give it up to him. I think he has earned every line somehow. Blood and sweat were shed to get that chiseled face. I suppose it's the reason he can conjure so much with it.
Yes, I saw that in the theater. No, I'm not a stalker.
It's just that face of his. He could do "awe" and "bewilderment" like no one else. All pale and purity and peaches and cream. That sweet face in "Dead Poet's Society".
I met him briefly, if you can call it meeting, at the Paul Simon concert in Central Park in 1991... I think. I told him that I liked him in "White Fang" because it was all I could think to say. He came over to say hello later on and hung out for a minute and massaged my shoulders until the end of a song (sad that I can't remember the song). I think he was hoping that I had beer and would offer him some. I didn't. Whatever. Didn't matter. A cute movie star gave me a back rub - I wasn't hung up on ulterior motives.
Years later we must have lived in the same neighborhood. Or maybe HE was the stalker, because I saw him everywhere when I lived in Chelsea. He always looked cool and tense and full of potential. And always handsome in a scrappy kind of way. But harder over the years. And then I'd see articles and interviews. Always intelligence and philosophy... and angst. And then the divorce. Divorce always sucks.
So I think he's had a hard time of things. Or at least he takes everything pretty seriously. All the wounds are deep. Everything leaves a scar. Thus the lines.
Don't get me wrong, he's still handsome. He evolved from wide-eyed and adorable to a kind of raw and sexy. But there's just something heartbreaking about it. I always wonder if he'd do it all over again.
It reminds me of something one of the Dominican nuns told me back in Catholic school. The way Sister Mary Joseph told it, Leonardo Da Vinci was looking for a model to be the infant Jesus in Adoration of the Magi and sought out the most pure, cherubic face he could find. Years later, when he began to pain The Last Supper, he was seeking an entirely different look for his model for Judas. But by coincidence, he ended up picking the very same model from years before. Sister Mary Joseph went on to explain that this man, who has once been the model for the baby Jesus, had not lived a very "clean" and "pure" life and grew up to look like a traitor. Now, I don't know if that story has any truth to it. This was the same nun who warned us that french kissing led to mortal sin and could ultimately land us in hell... the nun who started me wondering just how many people could possibly end up getting into heaven anyway if that was the case... and did I really want to spend forever and ever and EVER with THEM?!
Anyway, it just reminds me of Ethan. Either way, I give it up to him. I think he has earned every line somehow. Blood and sweat were shed to get that chiseled face. I suppose it's the reason he can conjure so much with it.
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