Car Therapy

I was in a foul mood earlier; snapping at my husband for no particular reason and irritated by the crumbs on the floor and the random clutter of homeless objects collecting on the kitchen counter.  I can't stand having a "to do" list hanging over my head on a beautiful day, which today is, so I suppose that explains the bitchy behavior as I left to go to Whole Foods.

It's amazing to me, though, how that quickly that funk can evaporate when the right song comes on the radio.  DJ's seem to be at their best on the first hot days of spring - they know we're ripe for nostalgia.  So I decompressed to old U2, Journey and Jeff Buckley and rolled down the windows.  Now I had the breeze and the bright greens and pinks of everything blooming all around me.  And once that shift starts to happen, it just has it's own velocity.  Suddenly, I'm aware of the moments I'm witnessing all around me.  Kids skipping alongside moms and babysitters on their way to the park.  Dog tails wagging next to people who look like theirs would be wagging, too, if they had tails.  Red, red cardinals flying against a backdrop of bright blues and greens.  A couple of girls catching up over a long lunch outside.

And before long, I'm remembering other springs, and other days like this one.  And I think of playing hooky and calling in sick.  Falling in love and finding excuse after excuse to stay just a little longer.  The radio always has a way of picking up and running with this.  Classic rock or even the corny pop stuff from the 80's.  And John  Mayer gets to me, even though he bugs the crap out of me lately.  A 15 minute drive and my eyes welled up at least 3 times.

By the time I finished my shopping, my mood had turned completely.  Spring fever's got a hold on me but good, and it seems to have everyone around me in the same happy trance.  So the ride home is really something to savor now.  I pull my hair out of it's ponytail because I can't stand the thought of even the slightest restrictions (well, I keep my seat belt on, but that's about all I can take).  All the windows down now and the radio at full volume.  Santana's playing and he's just perfect.  I'm sure I was speeding, but it seemed the only way to drive at the time.  I felt 17... and kind of like a hottie actually.

And then, just for a moment, I remember that I'm a 38 year old woman driving a Honda Odyssey with three car seats in back.  I look in the mirror.  I don't think I look old.  And, I don't really care all that much.  It just feels good - the music and the wind in my hair and having my soul stirred  and awakened that way.  But I remembered yet another thing I used to make fun of when I was young - "older" people trying to act young.  And I'm trying to remember now what I thought was so ridiculous.  

You know what?  Who cares?  It feels good to feel young... at any age.