Out of our heads

It's only recently that I developed an interest in the Waldorf education philosophy. For the longest time, I thought of it as something pretty "out there". And perhaps now I'm right out there with it, but it's given me an interesting perspective on things.

Waldorf education principles are based on Rudolph Steiner's spiritual and cultural movement called Anthroposophy - literally, the wisdom or knowledge of man. The philosophy is based on the view that a human being is a being of body, soul and spirit. Which is all well and good, though it sounded a bit like "blah, blah, blah" to me the first 50 or so times I heard it. It wasn't until I needed some alternative - until my five year old started biting his nails and having daily stomach aches in kindergarten - that I started to explore what it all meant.

And after a few months of fumbling through my best effort at Waldorf home schooling I'm started to get it. It's not a part of me yet, but I'm trying to make it mine. I'm trying to tune out all the well-meaning advice and unlearn so much of what I've learned about parenting. As I do, I'm getting back in touch with my body, soul and spirit. And it's alarming to discover how neglected they've been. And not just mine. Everyone's.

I overheard two women complaining the other day about how their 3 year olds "learned nothing in preschool this year". Their daughters can't even write their names. The conversation moved on to discussions about science camps and language classes for the summer. It sounded way too complicated and overwhelming for 3 and 4 year olds. And participating in these kinds of discussions was torture for me a few months ago. I was so conflicted - not wanting my kids to miss out on all these opportunities, but feeling exhausted by just the thought of all the running around and "doing". And yet, how could I not do everything possible to foster the education of my kids? Worse yet, my attempts to force my kids into all these "enrichment" classes made us all rushed and frazzled.

What sweet relief to discover that my kids could thrive without it! It's still work, mostly because I'm in the habit of being busy and productive and hurried and I have to relearn everything I'm trying to teach them. But when I'm able to just be with them, what a pleasure it is for all of us. Just to walk and pick up leaves and pine cones and spot birds. We dance and practice cartwheels and create recipes and find ways to decorate our rooms. We pretend. And together we're learning to play. We're feeding our souls. We're finding out all the things our bodies can do and how it feels to move about in the world around us. We're indulging our senses and our imaginations. We're learning how to tell stories and how to listen. And we're figuring out how to be happy and confident and comfortable in our own skin.

It's hardest for me. I still get preoccupied with progress. But my kids, they rock at this stuff and I couldn't be happier. If they get this stuff down, curiosity and passion will take care of the rest. We're going to master this childhood thing.

So now it's become very hard for me to watch so many people pushing their children to excel. Hard to watch five year olds experience the kind of pressures and expectations that give grown men and women ulcers. Our kids are all in their heads and old beyond their years. And collectively, we've now proven that we can get them to read and do math earlier and earlier, but I don't think it's any coincidence that more and more kids are now in occupational therapy, relearning how to be in their bodies. I don't know how I didn't always see it, but now that I have, it's impossible to ignore.

Well, one thing at a time, I suppose. For now, my kids and I are enjoying a little time out of our heads.