Parent Trap

My 13 month old has discovered scratching. And she's discovered that she likes it. She particularly likes trying it out on her 3 year old sister, who has been extremely patient with her little sister. So far.

So yesterday my little cherub strolls casually over to her big sister and catches her by surprise, clawing her right across the cheek. Shen then turns to me with a wounded look and whimpers, "Mommy, she scratched me." I turn to Tate and say sternly, "No". But since that word is merely amusing to her, I proceed to go over to Shen and kiss her cheek and stroke it gently to demonstrate to Tatum how she should be with her sister. "See, Tatum? Gentle. Nice". And then Shen and I both gently stroke Tatum's cheek to show her how it feels. Shen is especially sweet in her demonstration.

Tatum grins and repeats us in her own sweet way. "Naa. Naaa". And then she reaches over and begins to stroke Shen's arm... and then proceeds to dig every fingernail into her sister's flesh once more. Shen grimaces and turns to me for help.

We try again a few more times with our demonstration. We try that useless "no" word. We try to distract her or even just separate her, but Tate just wants to scratch now. And she's nothing if not persistent. Shen looks up at me hopelessly with those big eyes of hers. "She's not listening, Mommy!" She's not. And now we both have a couple of tiny pink lines on our arms. Something must be done.

And in the midst of it my mind just fails me sometimes. I get fragments of "good advice" spinning through my brain like a tornado. Stick to your guns. Be compassionate. Set boundaries. Be clear. Be patient. Stay firm. Use positive language. Be the example. Children live what they learn. Hmmm.... and it's still not coming to me.

And then my just turned 6 year old walks in and assesses the situation in .5 seconds and grabs his sister by the hand. "No, Tatum. We need to cut your nails. They're too sharp."

Now there's an idea. Maybe I should let him raise her.